Monday, January 20, 2014

Freshly cut bangs ^^
okay i cut them last week but i just finished trimming them ^^

... yes, it's worth mentioning !!!xD

Sunday, January 12, 2014

(inlove)



I've had countless of crushes and almost all of them were unrequited and believe me, they were all because of looks. I'm not proud to spill it out like that, but that's how it is. My first crush was definitely because of looks! I met him when i was much younger and somehow he happened to be a person i could never forget.  He's the person that could make my heart flutter without any reason..When i saw him, i swear I could curl up inside out of pure embarrassment and wish i could be compressed into an atom, but we never had a single conversation so i had no reason to feel that. Oh well, we did talk once... I couldn't find my phone in my purse (Yeah, we girls can have some big purses) and ask him to use his phone as a flashlight.... But that was it ... I don't really think he remembers.. or knew that that i existed at that time...
 Well, the thing is that after years of liking him, I finally  got in touch with him not too long ago and met him - had a REAL conversation with him.... and he was not as i thought he would be.
It's not meant in a bad way, but liking a person can make you make up their persona without knowing anything about them... I met him a few times more just to confirm for myself that my feelings had changed. I liked this guy for such a long time and in the end I found out that i didn't really like him. I liked my imagination of him more...


My second crush was nothing to scream hurray for either.   I got his contact information after our first meeting and we started to chat for a half year or so. I confessed my feelings for him like any other Japanese manga and i got turned down. Despite that I continued to like him for about 2 years and still met up with him occasionally. He told me he liked tall and fit girls and that kind of gave me hope. Since there was nothing i could do about my height, i just focused o my weight instead. I felt that: where i was lacking, I could gain in another field, and that motivated me to start running... and starve myself. At first i started to eat less and gradually i would only eat lunch... I still wonder how i managed to live through a day. When my family started to eat dinner, i always helped with the preparations and serving and just smelling the food made me full. On the days when i got really hungry by dinner time, i would hit the road for a 5 km run. As a 13 year old I weighed about 52 kg, but after my 2 month "diet" i lost 10 kg, weighing only 42 kg... Just because i wanted to impress a boy....and make my parents proud... Me weighing 42 kg was actually not unhealthy at all, because i was quite short at that time, but losing such a big amount of weight in such a short time period was problematic... and i got really sick afterwards... And he still didn't like me at all... Nothing had changed about him - and i realised out he just didn't like my personality...
All my efforts were useless, but i'm glad that i had a little piece of dignity left in me because for a person I could change my whole appearance but i did not want to change my personality a bit.  I checked in to rehab aka. ma momma's kitchen and gained some weight again afterwards ^^.
When i was back on my feet again and every kind of hope of getting him died inside of me,  i finally  admitted defeat. I told him it and he gave me a kiss on the cheek as a token for my stubbornness...  2 years for nothing more than just a kiss on the cheek -.-..........He played piano so well i actually think i like the fact he could play it more than him..... XD

So what's the point of my post today?


1. Personality has a face -  It come in one body so accept the package or leave it. Looks are not everything.

2. Don't change yourself for another person to acquire their love - your significant other will love you for who you are, but it doesn't mean that there won't be any modifications needed.

3. If you are in the position of being loved but doesn't have the mutual feeling for the other person, tell them the truth - don't let them hang on to you because in the long run, you'll let them face much greater disappointment. Big problems could have been solved when they still were small.

4. Don't use people for your own advantage - Just don't


5. Don't think to much about love - that's just stupid  xD

6. random thing -  Here's a selfie . I've switched from iPhone 4 to samsung galaxy s4 ( i had no idea what i was doing at that time) ^^

Fun fact - my favourite pick-up line: My love for you is like diarrhea ... I just can't hold it within me. 


Update* I remembered another important point:
 If a person really likes you, he/she would do whatever he/she can in order to make your needs met before theirs.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The roommate

My cousin told me the other day that i was born under a lucky star because i have a good dorm room. She made me happy and thankful for having this place to stay ^^. I've been asked if there are many social activities here, but unfortunately there isn't. Living here is like having your own apartment and i only meet my neighbours when i'm on my way out, home or just looking in the mailbox... Some of the students living in this building has roommates, but since my room is only for a single person, I tend to get lonely and would sometimes wish for a roommate.  A few days ago, my older cousin   Anh came to my place for a visit and she's been staying here for less than a week now. It's somehow like having a roommate and i'm glad that i've tried to live with another person. Surprisingly we've booth been sleeping well despite the fact that  we've been sharing a single bed, but fortunately she's quite slim^^.
We've been talking about movies and there's quite a bunch she hasn't got time to watch, but unfortunately neither one of us had the time, because otherwise i would love to see Gravity. Hasn't had the opportunity yet, and since she's seen Catching Fire and I've seen The desolation of Smaug, it was almost obvious that the next movie to watch would be Gravity. We eat whenever we want and rarely at the same time. Come to think of it, we haven't being doing anything much together, besides studying, but i guess that would be the same as living together with another person. We have our own schedules, but we talk to each other every morning about our plans for the day, before heading out and before bed we talk about how the day was - like evaluating it. She's about to go home soon, so when she leaves i'll miss my short period of having a social life and somebody to talk to before heading to bed. Well, the cellphone has been invented and now it's not that expensive to call somebody as when you were younger, but it's quite not the same, talking through the phone. So, having a roommate the last few days has been a joy for me - and maybe i'll get one someday ... or regret it ^^ 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Saturday, January 4, 2014

In the ashes of 2013

It's friday... and where am I ? Of course I'm home... which is pretty... sad...

I came back to Copenhagen a few days ago, after spending about 2 weeks in Odense eating myself fat, abusing my father's netflix and sleeping super late. If i've gained weight i can happily say no, but i think the fat has moved away from my ass to my overarms ... and i hate it!!

Thinking about presents I did not get any kind of fragrance this year (HALLELUJAH!!!), but something i quite like ^^. I got a recipe book for students, cozy shoes, DYI-bracelet set but the best gift yet, has to be from my sister Julie. She gave me a necklace i've really wanted, a hello kitty bling sticker and money... yes my own sister gave me money ... Well she does make more money than me.. because she gets money from my parents from doing nothing and i did not even get pocket money when i lived at home...

I'm pathetic...

Actually my parents did not have any presents for me (like if that is something new), but before heading back to Copenhagen they both gave me money.. But somehow it seems like they haven't talked to each other, because they both gave me money .. and summed up it turned out to be quite much (HALLELUJAH). Now that i come to think of it, i'm quite proud of myself... for going to church 3 times on christmas eve.

I just have to do some explaining before moving on with my boring christmas tale: I celebrate christmas with my dad's family and new years eve with my mother's side, and it has been a tradition for the last 8 years or so...

 On christmas eve i asked my parents to let me borrow the car. I went to church in the afternoon, before visiting my grandparents to wish them merry christmas. I met my aunts at church and wished them a merry christmas because i would not celebrate it with them this year. When i came back home, dinner was ready and afterwards it was gift time, followed up by church-time. My small family, yet big in other's eyes, ended up taking the space of half of the church...
After that, I watch movies with my siblings and suddenly got a text from a friend, asking if there was midnight mass... and somehow i felt the urge to go to church again ... and so i did .... meeting one of my aunts i met earlier, but now the bought her husband with her. She whispered to me asking why i suddenly came to church again, and when i told her it was my third time, she laughed. She also told me that one of my uncles were in church as well, sitting on one of the back rows.. Let's say.. we rarely see him, so it was quite a surprise that made us happy ^^. My aunt's husband was a little drunk... okay pretty drunk, because he was standing.. with crossed arms...half asleep ... with open mouth ... He woke up when he lost balance, then greeted me an praised me for going to church alone even though it was late. I told him it was my third time, and he regretted his former statement and called me sick... (Yaaaay -_- ).  Then he looked around in church and saw my other uncle and expressed his amusement of seeing him.. I clucked a little but noticed my laugh caught unwanted attention....
After church i headed home for a late night snack and put myself into bed...
And the days between december 24th and 31th, can be summarised very simple:
Wake up by noon - eat noodles - watch movie -  Try to read - going to the central station - Eat - watch tv - see who was the biggest loser at poker in the family -  find a place to sleep at 4 am - sleep.

OHH!! I watched FROZEN and it was really good !! You can never be too old for either an H.C. Andersen tale or Disney movie^^. My siblings were emotionally disturbed after the movie... Let's just say Julie cried and my brother Dennis, tried to deny the fact that he did the same and explained it to me very poetic... He said he felt something wet like a tear coming from his eyes... and when i asked if he had cried, he kept denying it saying falling tears is not the same thing as crying ..... ...... ..... ... .... ..

I haven't done much shopping between the holidays, because i always wait for the january sale which started yesterday ^^. So far i've bought 5 bras, all from h&m, a knitted blouse and a shirt from h&m -  50% off or more on each item ^^. I have a list of stuff i need atm. both personal and things i am missing in the apartment. But.. I have a craving for bags, so tomorrow i'll stop by LV to see if i can find a bag on sale ^^.





Oh i almost forgot..

New years eve was quite simple. I went out early to buy kids champagne and ingredients for a cake. I also tried to persuade my little sister for some bra shopping but my little brother had to tag along, making her feel embarrassed, so we did not get anything...
I went directly to my grandparents place, but since it was early i wanted to hang out with some friends nearby. I ended up being chauffeur, transporting all from persons to a 3 kg fish and cakes. I did manage to sneak out and got back just in time for the big dinner. Beef, crab claws, spicy soup, fish soup, potatoes, vietnamese salad, cheesecake, red velvet cake, macaroons and champagne was pretty much what i ended up having thrown down my mouth through the night. After the great dinner we kids just relaxed and chit-chatted until it was about time to light the fireworks... if we had any ...
I found out that my dad waited long enough with buying the stuff until the very last minute and everywhere he was met by salespersons saying they were out of it... so he had nothing... I asked my other family members and many of them did not buy anything ... My cousin Dzu did though.. she bough a kids set for her little brother and i bought something as well for my younger cousins, but i was worried we would have nothing big. In the end it wasn't that necessary because the neighbours make quite a show. One of my uncles actually bought some and fired on the other side of the house, making it explode just above out heads. At 12, as a tradition, we just scream out "Happy New Year" and as weird as i am .. I almost violently grabbed each person around the waist and jumped with them .. trying to jump into the new year.... but they jumped with me (because i forced them) so i am not weird at all ... ^^. I even grabbed my former co-blogger and cousin and jumped with her... Quite many knows we have problems with each other for a long time now... But that night we spoke briefly to each other over the dinner... but just like nothing ever happened between us. Unlike last year, at new years eve, I feel we have grown a bit - not being childish as we used to not even greet each other. I do not know what will come out of this, because it has been such a long time in silence. If we do talk again, I'm sure that nothing would be as it used to... I'll just let time decide and see what happens.  Overall when it comes to people i meet, friends i care for and family that i love, i take more precautions and set my expectations at zero. Not because i want to, but somehow after so much drama and so many problems through the past years, i just don't feel like I want to put my feelings at risk anymore. I might be more bold, but i don't get attached to a person so easily anymore.  I'm older now, not wiser, but a little more experienced. I do still and always will believe that there's something good in everybody, but for me to get too attached to them, too depending on them...well....  I just won't trade a moment of bliss with the price of a happiness...  again...






...unless it is requited.

btw. I tried 14-dish tapas today.... a little dissapointed, but yet i would recommend people to try it. It's for the experience.